Love they say comes in all forms, shapes, sizes and seasons. However, if low sex drive is your story? Your love life is probably covered in mud. But, this doesn’t have to be the rejoinder. Yes! You can resurrect once again.  Valentine day is here again, even though sometimes the notion behind the season is always misconstrued by the young minds. Universally, St Valentine’s Day is merely an annual festival to celebrate romantic love, friendship and admiration. The facts remain that there’s always something sexual about this season.


There’re usually a lot of expectations, especially after the jamboree during the day. Yet, the get-up-and-go of your overall sexual drive is an integral piece of your existence. Even when matters arising within these subject areas are usually discussed behind closed doors, in the darkness of the night or never discussed at all. There’s always a gap in-between emotional intelligence and seeing beyond your eyes.

As a man people might think that even in old age, you’re a sexual automaton. Nevertheless, if you’ve ever lost interest in sexual activity or noticed a drop in your sex drive, you’re not alone. This is a common problem that affects everyone at some point in life whether you’re a man or a woman.

In 2017, a study by a sex toy retailer LoveHoney put forward data that suggests that your sexual prime passes earlier than you might think. That means it’s possible you barely notice when you’re at the peak of your sexuality. Out of the 1418 people that took part, almost half of the women surveyed said that they felt that their sex drives were highest between the ages of 18 and 24.

According to a British study published in 2017, women are twice more likely to suffer from low sex drive and totally lose interest in sex than men in a long term relationship for example marriage. During the study, researchers asked participants about their sex lives, it wasn’t surprising that 15 percent of men and 34 percent of women surveyed said they had lost interest for up to three months or longer in the preceding year.

For men, low sex drive was most common between the ages of 35 and 44, while the highest point for women stood between the ages of 55 and 64. This invariably means that if you have wrinkles on your time line already, you’re probably going to experience low sex drive. 

Before you cry of missed opportunity, all hope is not lost. Today’s article seeks to explore causes of low sex drive,  myths about revitalizing your sexuality, natural ways to improve your libido, medical ways to add new pages to your erotic constitution and how to spark up your sexual instinct.

Beyond any doubt, low sex drive can further mess up your relationship and deteriorate into a more complicated medical issue. Yet, you don’t have to wait till you’re asked to climb your psychiatrist’s couch or doctor’s examination table and be diagnosed before you seek help.

Once you’ve noticed that your interest in getting laid has dropped significantly, even without meeting any criteria for diagnoses, there are lifestyle changes and sexual modus operandi you can adapt to light things up.

According to Heidi Godman an editor at Harvard medical school journal, as a woman if you place a greater importance on your sex life, you’re more likely to stay sexually active as you age. So why not take the laws of your sexuality into your hands.

These practices are guaranteed to put you in the mood more often. Agreed, there are certain medications that may offer a shortcut as well. Even though most of the time, low sex drive is often linked to psychological problems, relationship disputes, stress, tiredness, hormonal imbalance or a sign of an underlying medical problem such as hypertension or diabetes.

Conversely, as a man, it’s natural for you to experience a reduction in your libido as you turn the pages of time. But this phenomenon actually varies, depending on individual; most men maintain at least a considerable amount of sexual drive till about 60 to 70 years. Of course your sex drive would definitely drop if you have prostate problems. Diabetes damages your nerves, sustaining an erection beyond 2 minutes may be your only achievement. Consequently, this can bring your partner’s libido down.

Your partner may resort to masturbation, which is like bouncing a tennis ball on the wall. To really enjoy the game, you need a partner. Assuming you’re playing a sex game, obeying the rules of the game is a panacea for enjoying the benefits thereof.  

On the flip side, as a woman your libido is remotely controlled by fluctuations throughout life. Characteristically, your urge to fool around carefree can feel like an ECG reading with up and down strokes, your sexual drive could swing from high to low within minutes.

Your sexual switch is not entirely under your control, but this must be your rejoinder. You can make a comeback even if this may coincide with certain events in your life such as the beginning or end of a relationship, remarkable life changes like pregnancy; menopause, illness or even situations like grief.

Notably, some medications used to manage your psychiatric disorders are implicated in low sex drive both as a man or woman.

Regardless of your sexual divide, once your lack of interest in getting it on is becoming persistent or causes personal distress, it could be an indication that life is rubbing a medical condition known as hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) on your face.

That brings us to the next mind boggling question.

low sex drive

As a young adult fantasizing about your sexual desires, the last thing you’ll be asking yourself would be. Would there ever be a time when sex will no longer be on my schedule? Forgetting that life would happen and other things would steal your time. You might be chasing caring for your aging parents, regular 9 to 5 works, kids; grown or suckling; above all a medical condition such as Hypo active sexual desire disorder (HSDD) might just turn the devil stealing your joy.

As a woman HSDD might turn out to be an upsetting situation characterized by low sex drive, when you lose interest totally in anything relating to sex. According to international society for sexual medicine, one in ten women have HSDD. This is a great number of women involved, making this phenomenon one of the commonest female sexual health whinge.

HSDD is long-lasting and distressful; this situation can put a big asunder between you and your spouse. It can open your relationship in halves and you are less likely to know the root of your low sex drive. Therefore, resolving it is often a tug of war that brings unnecessary frustration and worry about the fate of your relationship.

Overcoming the initia is the first step to resolving this situation. Mental health awareness and self-distress is sacrosanct to finding a lasting solution. Otherwise, if you don’t feel distressed about your low sex drive, you’ll look somewhere else, as this often indicates that you don’t have HSDD.

life expectancy


As a man, it is believed that you’re hardwired to always want sex. Yet a man with low testosterone is less likely to spark any volts.   Testosterone is your love hormone; it plays an important role in powering your body. By controlling your dirty thoughts and accentuating your virility. It is the chief reason for your sex drive (libido). It also plays a role in formation of bone mass, even out  fat and build your muscle mass as well as a host of other functions beyond the scope of today’s post.

Testosterone is called an androgen hormone because it’s responsible for your masculine characteristics. However, Excessive amount of it circulating in your blood doesn’t necessarily make you good in bed. But might be the reason the second hand of your sexual clock is always ticking.

Your darling love juice is produced by your gonads, adrenal gland and little amount by your ovaries if you’re a woman. Consequently, any physical damage to these structures affects its production. Low amount of this love hormones circulating in your blood result in your low sex drive whether you’re man or woman.

Other conditions that can dampen your sex drive may include but not limited to:

  • Bad lifestyle choices- like, smoking, no or little exercise, alcohol and illegal drug use.
  •  Lack of emotional connection with your spouse.
  • Mental health problems – like depression, stress, anxiety.
  • Partner performance problems.
  • Prescription medicines – for high blood pressure, birth control pills, diabetes drugs, etc.
  • Problems in your relationship.
  • Sexual rejection.
  • Social roles changes.
  • The birth of a child and breastfeeding.
  • Thyroid disorders.
  • History of physical or sexual abuse.
  • Fatigue and exhaustion.
  •  Bad sexual experience.
  • Poor body image perception.


low sex drive

Low sex drive usually occurs as a result of a combination of factors. As a woman, the cause of your low libido isn’t just in your head. Depending on the cause, your doctor may refer to therapy if the cause is psychological. In that case, a drop in your libido is definitely a need to narrow the communication gap between you and your partner.

Sometimes, by merely talking things through, you may observe a significant improvement in your sex drive. A more serious cause of low sex drive like depression might require prescription drugs. Even though, some of these drug can actually contribute to your low libido for example Prozac. Yet, with an elevated mood, you’re more likely to feel a kick in your pant.

Testosterone Hormone replacement is often an effective remedy, even though the treatment is still a controversy. It’s important to give your doctor adequate information about how you feel about yourself.

What about those promising erectile function drugs such a Viagra? Those are good for a hard on erection, but would not necessarily boost your sex drive. Besides, you should inform your health care professionals about these medications especially if you are taking high blood pressure pills.

Aside sending more blood supply to your lower limbs, this is necessary to maintain an erection. Viagra has the ability to lower your blood pressure. Co-administering with drugs of similar properties can further crash your blood pressure. This may eventually result in hypotension or sudden heart failure.

Similarly, flibanserin marketed under the brand name Addyi is regarded as a female Viagra, just like its counterpart, it causes blood to flow to women’s sexual organs, thereby, potentially increasing sensitivity and sexual arousal.


Tackle stress and anxiety – when you’re anxious, you’re apprehensive and overwhelmed with fear. Sometimes, this can be a way you react to stress. This means you’ve lost your control buttons. Identifying your stressors and tackling those head long would go a long way in improving your self-worth and consequently building your sexual confidence.

Improve the quality of your relationship – relationships require nurturing, constantly working on your relationships can reduce stress, protract life, and consequently improve your sexual drive. Improving the quality of your relationship may include actions like giving your spouse undivided attention, prioritize your time for your loved one, give yourself space once in a while, allow for silence, improve your communication and of course constantly reminding them how much you care about them.

Concentrate on foreplay – focusing on foreplay can create emotional and physical intimacy between you and your partner. Foreplay alone goes a long way to create sexual arousal and desire for sexual activity. Foreplay doesn’t have to be physical all the time, nonphysical activities like mental or verbal acts may also serve as foreplay.

Get adequate sleep – poor sleep habit can definitely hamper your sex drive, Lack of sleep can whack your hormones out of sync with your system and consequently decreases your testosterone levels, and again, this is crucial for both male and female sex drive. Besides, Sleep deprivation zaps your energy and negatively your virility and mood. The popular saying ‘a real man is always in the mood’ might not ring true in this instance. Poor sleep will make you less likely to be aroused. Contrariwise, a low sex drive can cause sleeplessness and make you irritable.

Eat well-balanced diet – all the nutrients your body needs to create hormones and neurotransmitter comes from your diet. While it’s clear some meals can certainly boost your sex drive and make you last longer in bed, bad nutrition choices can seriously threaten your sex drive. 

Attempt herbal remedies – even though there is no extensive scientific research of effectiveness of some herbs in boosting sex drive, some herbs have been found to act as aphrodisiacs. For example fenugreek is a herb used both in cooking and as a supplement, research has suggests it may help boost libido. Other herbs with similar properties include; Maca (Lepidium meyenii), Red Clover (Trifolium pratense), Korean Red Ginseng (Panax ginseng), Tribulus (Tribulus terrestris).

Get regular exercise – aside releasing neurotransmitters that’ll make you feel good, that early morning 30 minutes exercise can make a difference. Working out and building those muscles would be of advantage to you during sex. Exercising your body improves your body’s awareness and improves your breathing as well as blood circulation. 

Improve your weight – Being overweight or obese would definitely affect your libido. Being weighty doesn’t only make you less attractive, it reduces your breath, makes you clumsy and easily fatigued. Yes once you’ve decided to improve your sex drive small changes can jump-start your sex drive.

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