INCEST TABOO| 3 BIZARRE REASONS WHY FATHERS-DAUGHTER ROMANCE

INCEST TABOO| 3 BIZARRE REASONS WHY FATHERS-DAUGHTER ROMANCE

An incest taboo is any traditional or cultural tenet that forbids sexual relations between closely related individuals. Universally, human cultures have norms that forbid erotic or conjugal affairs between blood relations. According to Wikipedia, ‘’the incest taboo is one of the most widespread of all cultural taboos, both in present and in past societies.’’ Some of these sexual affairs are consensual and others aren’t.

Incest taboo persists in spite of it being widely condemned; headlines always resurface. ‘’Schoolgirl, 13, dies giving birth ‘to her dad’s baby’ after years of sexual abuse’’. This happened in Brazil and was reported by mirror.com on 30th December 2019. After the delivery, complications were detected. The teenage girl died en route an airlift to a specialist hospital in Manaus 225 miles away (363km).

On Aug 5, 2018, a disturbing story was published on nairaland.com about a man who allegedly had carnal knowledge of his 16-year-old daughter at Yimi village in Zuba, Gwagwalada Area Council in the FCT, Nigeria.

A similar story published on the 8th of July, 2019 by allafrica.com, of a father who impregnated his daughter and forced her into having an abortion. According to Premium Times, he had drugged her food when she was just 10 years old and subsequently raped her. Afterward, he raped her habitually and eventually turned her into his sex slave.

These, amongst others, are just the few that make it to the news including unpopular, isolated cases of mother-child incest. There are numerous undiscovered incidents and cover-ups by spouses, families, and households. Now, one wonders why fathers, who are supposed to symbolize stability, protection, provision, and guidance would be the ones involved in such acts.

That brings us to this.

INCEST TABOO

WHY ARE SOME FATHERS ATTRACTED TO THEIR DAUGHTERS?

Attraction is an incomprehensible notion as most of the time, it is quite hard to tell what brings people close.

Biologically, our hormones play a remarkable role in attraction. Testosterone, for example, boosts libido in pretty much everyone. It’s been scientifically proven that men with high levels of testosterone are more likely to be attracted to women with more feminine structures.

It’s worth mentioning that, due to the ambiguity of the word attraction, people would not totally agree on what’s attractive and what isn’t.

Desirability can also be associated with higher levels of serotonin, also known as the happy hormone. Physically touching someone by hugging, kissing as well as sexual contact has been shown to increase oxytocin, the love hormone.

According to Lindsay ‘Dodgson, “love is connected with several hormones that make us feel warm and fuzzy.’’ She went on to say that ‘’ dopamine is the reward hormone that is released when you do something that makes you feel good, such as spending time with loved ones and having sex. Norepinephrine is also released during the attraction, and the combination makes you feel giddy.’’

INCEST TABOO: SHOULD INCESTUOUS DESIRES BE CONTROLLED?

People differ in how they control their sexual impulses. Still, a responsible adult should know and understand the boundaries and rules of engagement.

Jai Rodes a father of a 19-year-old daughter wrote in 2016, ‘’I get horny when my daughter wears sports bras, tight boy shorts or underwear to the gym. I get horny when she wears her string bikini, thong bikini, or her g-string bikini when we are at the beach or my dad’s pool’’.

He further narrates how he fantasizes about having sex with his daughter in every possible way. He continues, ‘’It’s hot to think about and it gets me off, I don’t feel guilty or ashamed thinking about my daughter in sexual ways. I rather jerk off thinking about doing all kinds of things to her instead of the real thing’’.

A loving father is not a big bag of hormones waiting to explode in his daughter, but a rational being who understands that the hug of a father to his daughter or kissing her on her head or cheek or between her eyes is merely a way of showing mercy, compassion, and love. These are permissible but he should know never to cross the line.

Some father-daughter relationships revolve around seductive behavior. Seductiveness on the part of the father means behavior that was clearly sexually motivated, but which did not involve physical contact or a requirement for secrecy.

Whilst fathers who spend more time with their daughters would enjoy their company, touching them more frequently might, in turn, make their daughter(s) feel more attracted to them. A daughter’s affection for her father is normal but an obsession with or sexual attraction to her father is not. The same goes for fathers.

Incest taboo

INCEST TABOO: WHAT IS IT LIKE TO DEVELOP AN INCESTUOUS SEXUAL BOND?

Experts argue that no evidence supports the phenomenon known as the Genetic Sexual Attraction. However, Wikipedia describes it as a strong sexual attraction that develops between close blood relatives who first meet as adults.

In 2003, the Guardian in an article noted that “experts guesstimate that these taboo feelings occur in about 50 percent of cases where separated relatives are reunited as adults.” The article further told the story of a woman who had put her son up for adoption and when she met him 26 years later, was attracted to him but her feelings were not reciprocated.

Several writers have sought to explain this condition but research is limited. Different schools of thought exist from those who have taken a closer look at the phenomenon. One school of thought believes there is a primal feeling of always having belonged to the estranged relative.

This, they explain, can culminate to experiencing a sense of bonding missed out during childhood, or merely an overwhelming closeness based on similarities; for example, having a feeling that you’ve met someone designed in a science lab to suit you perfectly. The bond here might seem inseparable.

Irrespective of this, consensual incest between fathers and their daughters remains the least mentioned and perhaps the most forbidden form of GSA relationship. Whatever the case, it should be clear that children from these unions can face potentially serious difficulties arising from the genetic implications of incest.

Incest taboo

ARE THERE EXAMPLES OF CONSENTED INCESTUOUS RELATIONSHIPS?

Mackenzie Phillips, a childhood actress, may have a relatable story. Phillips was not only laden with drug addiction, arrests, and divorce. People magazine reports and Philips, in her book, High on Arrival, maintained that her father, musician John Phillips of The Mamas and the Papas, who died in 2001, engaged her in a long-term incestuous relationship.

“On the eve of my wedding, my father showed up, determined to stop it. I had tons of pills, and Dad had tons of everything, too. Eventually, I passed out on Dad’s bed.” I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father.

Her book covers details of how her father wanted to run away with her to a country where incestuous relationships were permitted.

On “The Oprah Winfrey Show”, she revealed that it was her father who introduced her to drugs. At every instance during their relationship, she was largely influenced by drugs introduced to her by her dad.

In 1980, Phillips’ drug addiction led to her being fired from “One Day at a Time.” She went to rehab with her father and toured with him as part of The New Mamas and the Papas. It was at that time, she writes, that her sexual relationship with him became consensual.

Despite Phillips’ use of the word, “consensual”, her relationship with her father, technically, wasn’t.

CONSENSUAL INCEST TABOO?

It isn’t true that if the basis of the first sexual encounter is rape, then subsequent sexual relations with the person will be consensual. 

Mackenzie’s father had raped her after she had taken drugs and passed out. This was followed by more rape episodes for a greater part of 10 years.

Again, sex is not consensual when one individual cajoles the other into it. Phillips hinted to her father that their first sexual encounter was rape. He teased her with a fancier word,  He called it “making love.”

After telling her father that their secret relationship made her isolated and reduced her to “a fragment of a person”, his comeback was that in countries like Fiji, it was “an accepted practice.”  This left her utterly disgusted. He played mind games on her for the longest time.

Also, sexual relations where one has to be drugged or self-awareness compromised by alcohol, are not consensual.

In Mackenzie’s situation, her father conditioned her with drugs from when she was a young child. It was premeditated and he made sure she was drowned in it. Is it sensible to be intoxicated in order to engage in sex? You take advantage of people when you do this.

Phillips tried to be protective of her dad when she claimed their relationship was consensual.

It should, however, be known that incest between consenting adults is still a sex offense in many parts of the world.

BOTTOM LINE

Relationships with parents are primal love relationships not to be confused with incestuous advances. These connections are based on the need to nurture. They set the ball rolling with regard to future connections. Parenting is strictly based on obligation and never equal in terms of vulnerability which supervenes in a fulfilling sexual relationship.

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